Don’t Say “Literally” Unless You Literally Mean It, Please

Don’t you get so angry sometimes that you want to literally pull your hair out?

Before you answer that, think carefully. If you “literally want to pull your hair out,” you’d better start tugging. And there’d better be some hair on the floor in a few minutes; otherwise you’re not doing it right.

The word “literally” traditionally means “word for word” or “in the strict sense.” You can say, for example, “The city was literally destroyed,” if indeed, a city was reduced to rubble. You cannot say, “I’m so hungry I could literally eat a horse.” I don’t care how hungry you are–unless you’re willing to sit down and eat that horse by yourself (no sharing!) “literally” isn’t the word you want here.

I suspect that when most folks hear ”literally” they take it to mean, “really, really.” This makes it not only incorrect, but also unnecessary. To say that you can eat a horse is to use a figure of speech, and the whole reason to do this in the first place is to use metaphor and/or extreme exaggeration to make a point.

If I say, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” I’m sure you already get my meaning. I’m hungry. Extremely hungry. No other words are needed. I especially don’t need a word like “literally” which implies pretty much the opposite of figurative language.

And please, whatever you do, don’t go sticking “figuratively” in there, either. That would be equally unnecessary and even kind of counter-productive.

If I say,” I’m so hungry I can figuratively eat a horse,” I’m basically saying, “I’m hungry enough to SAY I could eat a horse, but I still couldn’t actually do it–don’t worry, folks, no horses are really in danger.”

And if you start talking like that, you’re taking up much too much of other peoples’ time.

No one will listen to you. Literally.