Quit Whining and Just DO It, Already!

I’m a complainer. Luckily, my husband is not.

When times get tough, I have occasionally had the tendency to sit and stew for a little while. When a copy job falls through or a client demands an additional, completely unnecessary rewrite for no additional pay, I might resort to an intense, one-person brainstorming session of “Uggghhh…why does this happen to me?” And then, “I don’t know what to do.”

When I bring my husband, Ted, in on these sessions, they typically become shorter. That’s because he always responds with, “Well, do SOMETHING.”

And I always wonder why I didn’t think of that.

Ted is not one to beat around the bush, play games, or sit around thinking of reasons NOT to accomplish his goals.  On the first day we met, for example, instead of coming up with some lame excuse to ask for my phone number, he came right out and asked me for a date. I knew right then that this was not a man who would watch his hopes and dreams slip away while he sat whining about what to do.  On that day I not only scored a date with a great guy, but also learned an important lesson about plunging ahead and going after the things I want. Pretty good deal all the way around, I’d say.

Ted and I have been working together off and on since we first began dating over seven years ago. At that time I was an English major working in an artsy, low-paying theater job—the kind that a person should only do out of love. I, unfortunately, did not love the job, and I soon found that working a hated job for very little pay is just a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

I was also a writer. I knew I had talent, but I had no idea what to do with it. I also knew about the Internet, but had never put it together that all those websites actually had to be written by someone.

Ted was the first one to clue me in on this. He had a couple of small design projects going, and needed to dress the pages with web content.

“Someone’s got to write it,” he said. “And you’re a great writer. Why not you?”

“Why not me,” I agreed. And we’ve been a team ever since.

As one might imagine, it’s not always easy to work with a spouse. Many people prefer to keep their personal and professional lives separate. Luckily, Ted and I have never balked at the idea of running a business together. Ted is an accomplished web developer and designer; I am an ambitious writer and proofreader.  As in real life, we compliment each other well.

In writing this blog, I plan to explore and discuss marriage: the concept in general, as well as ours in particular.  And I plan to examine, specifically, the perils, pitfalls, and pleasures that arise when working with one’s spouse.

As with any marriage, I’m sure there will be smiles and tears. Loud laughter, but sometimes loud arguing as well.  An ordinary couple has plenty to both celebrate and fight about; when you also work together, you add a whole other element to an already complicated situation.

Us in a nutshell: one dreamy, passionate complainer, and one cynical, stubborn go-getter who never could stomach wasting time on bad ideas.

As I said, we compliment each other well.